Marturia

I’m a sincere follower of Jesus, both as a believer in the historicity of the Old and New Testament documents and as someone who exercises an ongoing conversation with him and works to put into action what He commands. At some point I’d like to make this page a “marturia” (testimony; what one has seen and heard) about my history in following Him, especially regarding incidents that are less subjective in nature, that even on my most cynical days I can still point to as being tangible manifestations of an invisible Being. For now, however, I’ll leave these personal observations of my experiences with God:

  • He provides a difficult-to-articulate inner strength: on days when I pray, read Scripture, sing worshipful songs, and wait quietly with a focus on Him, I find it much more natural to be kind, thoughtful of others’ needs, patient, at peace, trusting that things will work out for good, giving others’ the benefit of the doubt, and am less attached to personal possessions. When I neglect these activities, I slowly drift towards selfishness, higher stress levels, prioritizing personal projects rather than communal good, etc. The Apostle Paul seems to be articulating something similar when he discusses the “Fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5.
  • He sometimes acts in ways that are “extra-natural”, where a body part will start functioning better than it has previously, or finances are provided for a need in a way/time that seems too serendipitous to be chance, or a vivid dream contains a physical location that I only later experience in my life. However, these things have almost never occur when I expect them to (whether I am asking or not), and I’m under no illusion of having control over when and how these types of things happen.
  • He seems to care about “little” things. It’s not uncommon for my wife or I to have a sort of “impulse” (e.g. to drop by Goodwill)  and have it result in finding/receiving something (e.g. a used bookshelf with the perfect dimensions) that we’d talked about a few days before. Again, I’m under no illusions about a cosmic genie, since Lord knows I’ve prayed and prayed for years without answer, even to emotional fatigue and heartbreak, for things that I care dearly about. I won’t even pretend to understand this, but I’ve experienced these types of serendipities enough times that I cannot ignore the Personality thus manifested.
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